today wind very strong and big har!

settled the prom night issue. heng.
pay up people! owe money pay money har!

i don't know why but i am kinda sad now.

=(

CHAM AH! havent start on PI's 2500(min) words essay.

jia you to myself!

blow wind blow~

28-01-07

i was kinda down with some pretty confusing messed up emotions. sounds complicated already huh?
i think i am worrying too much. i should just let things fall into place.
with regards to the Prom Night.
i had asked, begged, pleaded with people to go.
it seems that i am lowering myself so much, i am losing it.

all i want is just to see ALL my classmates there. everyone.

from anthony to arif.
from calist to clement to candy to chang.
from jessie to jun jie.
from kok ping to kok keong.
from wei jie to wayne to wei lun to wei zhen.
from shi xiong to lulu to nisa to evonne.

and maybe (daryll)

i guess i am asking far too much.

i text an sms to some of them which i felt i forced them to go. asking them to tell me truthfully if they want to go
or not. i am too tired to ask anymore. i really am. it's just PROM. so, ya.

clement replied. he said he was too broke recently. i said it's ok. really is.

*

i just want you guys to know this: i will miss my class.

whether or not is the taken-for-granted sem(s) 1/2/3/4. i will always know what i had in poly days.
it will all be over so soon before you-know-it. maybe it's the time factor. maybe it's the money factor.
or maybe. it's just our bond is not strong enough to realised what we had. maybe.

whatever it is. i sincerely thanked you guys for being my classmates and sharing part of my poly life.

to those in the society and ihp whom i shared happy/sad/stressed/upset/comforting/fucked-up times with.

i thanked you all =)

*

i got myself a P.I. whom helped me investigated who "Love" on my tagboard is.
he can actually work in the CIA i swear. haha.

*

at kumon i learnt: long. longer. longerest.
so now i apply my learnings.

it's soon. it's coming sonner. it's the sonnerest.
so soon. so so soon. so so so so so soon.
argh.

*

changes are constant.
people are the cause of changes.
whether you like it or not, you are part of changes.

changes are sometimes hard to adapt.
changes are sometimes very superficial.
changes are sometimes unpredictable.
changes are most of the time, fascinating.

congrats. cos you are changing.

*

Move Along
"So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold"

*

Jay - Ju Hua Tai

*

i saw an old grandma sitting at the small lil traffic crossing path towards Bugis Street/Parco Bugis Junction.
it was dark. i couldn't see her clearly.
she was selling tissues. but i dont want any. i donated $2 to her. the smile on her face is priceless.
i then stand a distance while waiting for the traffic light.
i teared.
my heart just felt so painful.
i kept thinking about her. is she cold? does she need the jacket on me? shall i send her home?

*

life. this is life. so helpless. so damn fucking helpless.

people, please just sometimes spare a dollar or two to buy tissues from these elderly.
i believe in kind hearted and good karma.

*

sometimes in life. you just cant plan things. *screams!

woo! this entry is longerest and random. and i love it. muacks myself
all kinds of feelings felt and emotions left out...

looks like the KunMing trip is not go-able. they suggested (alternative) the 10 day China study trip. nah. i am not going for that. bleah.

i am wondering who is "Love" on my tagboard.

Departure is nearing.
Exam is nearing.
Valentine Day is nearing.
CNY is nearing.

argh. gotta study again. gotta cry again. gotta vomit again.

and then it will be all over.

yeah =)

*meet-ups are getting me all happy.

i am not getting any new friends currently because the good old ones are coming back to me and i am so glad because they are nice people. hello Jimmy kor kor. hello Hanif di di. hello my lovely amm. hello my dear sista. hello shieddah ka ka. hello chris jie jie. hees.

swimming later!

on the night of 19th Jan.
i dreamt and i cried in my dreams and upon waking.
it goes like this:

i dreamt i was with melissa. she was looking good. different from how she used to be. more confident with her old sweetness. we went out together. then we were at this foreign place which looks like Holland because of the lovely windmills and tulips. we saw this group of chinese there. in them, there was michelle! she called out to me like how she did. we hugged and i started to cry. i miss her too. then angeline came to join us.. michelle had to leave suddenly with the group. she left after having the afmm hug. 4 of us together but in my dreams. i walked on, alone. saw shieddah kaka. she still looks as pretty. we hugged and laughed. then i saw xuan. she's lovely. she called me "jie."

i knew it. my true and unforgettable friends. they are always a part of me. in my heart and mind. i was sad. very sad for a while that i did not contact them. i thought the dream was trying to tell me that i am very much going to lose them.

but!

angel happened to be in sch yesterday and we got together.
mel msn me yesterday while i was in sch chiong-ing ecad assignment.
xuan tagged and msn me too.
shieddah msg me today and asked how am i.

now. where's my michelle?

i love all of u. i never did forget you girls.


**

creditions-time:

i wan to thank some really great and nice guys from the bottom of my heart.

wei lun
wei zhen
xiao chang bro (ku ku bird)

if not for you guys. the ecad assignment shall be buried with me in my grave. ok. that's too serious but still. thank you. it's a blessing to always get the help you need when you really needed them. thank you. and once again. thank you very much =)

you guys might not see it. but i am not an ungrateful person. i will very much help if you need my help. thank you again.

**

i never blame you for loving. because i am also loving.

i went running yesterday. wee~ sweats*
saw shaun. alrights. shaun.
nothing exists anymore.
we are just like normal stranger-friends on the streets.
he is friendly.
i responded.
that's all.
with a "hey".
maybe it's still a nice thing to still greet and remain friendly.

wishing you the best. shaun.

gonna go swimming again tomorrow.
lalala.
now.
i just love the pool.
even if it means just soaking myself in the waters.

people. let's go for prom 2/3/07. =)




-
love me even if i die now.

I LOVE swimming! as in really in love with it. it's cool. it's fine. and yes, i shall be confident in water soon. i hope. been a lil crazy about sudoku. hee. starting ECAD assignment soon. been so guilty about MBA project and xiao chang that i decided to be his maid/secretary (foc). hee. i will however, take up his part for ECAD assignment. fair ah. yups.

big hugs =)

*p.s: my speedo-swimming-trunks-instructor has got a cute hairstyle =p

i got A+ for my ECAD common test. what a surprise. wee. sha la la. now. chiong chiong chiong MBA and ECAD assignment le. jia you jia you jia you. and eh. going for SIA talk later. lala.

had yummy lil tom yum steamboat at marina's thai express. it was fresh and yums yums. i enjoyed it very muchy! shalala.

and eh. JIa YOU JIa YOU JIa YOU ericia. it's now only left with the viva presentation. last bit of the tough war. it will end real soon! =) hugs*

and er. i seriously don't believe in any sense that i passed MBA common test. i don believe it as in i have no faith and believe and trust in it. i don believe it! but, man, it's a blessing that i passed la. heng ah. heng. i passed my MWS - of course. because i studied real hard and was very serious for it ok. i passed my QLA too. barely. passed by 5 marks. phew. no need for re-tests. hee. now left PI and ECAD - unknown.

and ee. jia you to xiao chang and myself for our MBA project. good luck ya to us =)


cute lil steam boat!

fresh ingredients. prawns.mushrooms.cuttle fish.fish.chicken

half dead glass noodles. hee. yums

wee! guess how the fuck am i blogging now?
using broadband! wee wee wee!
i fixed the connection. it was dummy-proof. =P
finally i can like get access to the internet so fast.
what a feeling ah.

it's gonna be a busy month.
assignments.swimming.work.blah blah blah.
i see my h/p calendar - so many markings.

been a long while. i am fine.
i am feeling so fine. yeah!

ivan, i promised to blog!

i have a speedo-swimming trunk instructor.

=)

good year ahead please.


06/01/07


weee. welcome you freshman - 2007.
yet another year has passed. - 2006.

some people came to view house just now at 11.30am. i was asleep.
they were laughing at me. i heard it you assholes.
i slept late. watched American Beauty which was shown on Ch 5 last night.
good show said many. i love it.

and er.. Oh my buddha. tomorrow is school day?
shit. i so don't wanna go to school but i will miss it after i graduate..

damn. i smell exams and stress and tears and unbearables stuff.
christmas and new year day came and went away.
Chinese New Year is coming. and so is Valentine.

mr yang. i need to work at kumon a bit. pls pls.
i know i took a long break away for the month of dec.
but i am ready again.
i miss those kids. and need come cash. haa.


02/01/07


F.I.R - ta hen ai ta
this song. i just gotta mention it. i have to.
it's such a close to heart kind of song. to me.

common test is ALRIGHT. except for last one - MBA.
blame it on my laziness. no more motivation left for me to strive for it.
the most effort - MWS. chen shi fu, you better love me. haa.

got this baby back. my dear lappy. changed her mother board. so damn heart pain.
she was in ICU for a week. like again. mel is not a good place for my lappy. no no.
the people fixed up my keyboard. no more magical "3" typing all by itself.
no more external key board. no more laughs at. no more. i hope

2 weeks of holidays. 1 will be gone soon. had a class gathering. well. almost a class gathering.
so damn sad that not all turned up. not mentioning names but i got dishearted a lil.
went JB for a day of piracy and flooding.

rain is definitely an issue this time of the year.

and just who in the world would go to "Rain's" concert with tickets going from $188?
rain, you are far too expensive now.

i love random shit. i love to just blog what i have now and what i want to say now.
i always have thoughts and drafts in my mind.
but when i turned the laptop on, go to www.blogger.com and go to "New Post".
my mind will be like "blank." haa.

i hope the Kun Ming trip is go-able. (my kind of language)

i hope yu xuan had lots of fun at H.K.
i miss her,

i hope angel is fine and is as cheerful. she should be back pretty soon from her trip.
i miss her,

i hope mich is as cute and herself.
i miss her,

i hope mel is missing me and is smiling as sweet as always.
i miss her,

i hope kaka's life is no longer full of complications and have some time for me.
i miss her,

i have been having lots of dreams.
i dreamt twice or so that i was back at FCUK to work. the girls there are still as fun.
if only dreams like that come true whenever you want them to.

i had dreams showing what i will be.
an air stewardness.
a primary school teacher.
some position in GAMUT marketing (which deals with FCUK, BCBG, SEED and blah)

dreams.dreams.dreams.

next year's feb is a bad month. exams. done with poly days and some departures of flights.
argh.

there will be someone who will give me a good life in future. i truly believe.

drank with white wine.yummy.

-
get drank. go ahead and live the high-end life.
go ahead and be so rich if everything and anything.
lie your way through your terrible and pathetic life.
you think you can judge well. you think you can think well.
you think you-know-it-all. you think you are so fine.
you think you are so high up.
nah.
you are a piece of unwanted paper which i am stepping on.

-
bee-yatches. to hell. yah.
you think you are smart.
just you wait.
you will have your just desserts which will be damn fucking sweet.
enjoy your life fool.
stop fooling yourself. for everyone's sake.
you are so not smart.
you are so not lovely at all.
you are not appealing. stop it.
you better get the hell out of my sight forever.
the sight of you make me wanna puke.
you are ugly. inside and outside.
you are a liar. you are deceiving yourself.
you are non-existent to me.
for i shall not see things i cant stand.
-

i am living with 3 other women but there are 5 of us together.
i am so failing my math. or is it my eye sight?
what a joke.
your presence is around but i choose to elimiate it/you.
daddy-is a strange word in my dictionary. so damn strange.

fucked up huh. ya,

damn this girl is so unhappy. you might think.
you might start to want to show pity or empathy.
keep those. i am not in need of them and never will be.

i dare to love. i dare to hate. i dare to admit. i dare to show.
i dare to say. i dare to be true. i dare to be myself. i dare you.

i have my happiness. my very own. no doubt.

in this space. i show you my happy-smiley pictures.
but
i pour my unhappiness for it shall be forgotten after i poured them.
typing out and showing frustrations and helpless.

for i dont want to feel the unhappy.
i want to be happy and feel happy outside of this space.
i am, but a happy girl who smiles at you.

bought 4 little black dress books. interesting. engaging.
every girl should have the essential - a little black dress.
like how you need the black dress. i suggest you the books too.
yeah. finally i can like read, again.

and did i mention i missed the fyp times?
not the working on project times of course. hell no.
the playing and enjoyment part.
quite a few outings.
now that i looked back at photos, videos.
it was a hell of fun stuff.

i smell swimming classes. (lets tongue out)

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
i don't want the world to see me.

Augustana - Boston
you don't know me. you don't even care.

music is a big part of my life, too.
i appreciate music. i need music.
i am so thankful for music.

22/12/06